Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
