I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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