so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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