My balls are so social today.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
