just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
