I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
