Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
