also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
its not stalking. its research.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
