...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
