I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize