i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
