I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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