There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
