Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Randomize
