This is not my ceiling
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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