you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
pray to the hookup gods
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
