oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
