just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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