All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
