the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
