if you like me you must not know who I am
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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