it wasn't lemon gatorade
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
