I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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