So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
