Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
