Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
