I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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