That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
