Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
