Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize