i would punch a child for taco bell
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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