There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
