ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize