I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
