Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize