Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
