Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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