she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
