i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
