omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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