My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
