Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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