Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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