i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
