she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize