some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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