Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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