1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
