This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
