Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
