I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
