Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
