your parents love me but you hate me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
