I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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