it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
