ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
