do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
