Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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