Nicole vs. Life
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
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