he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize