It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize