Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
