They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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