Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
