His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
