it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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